Ever feel like life is subtly yanking you in a particular direction? Like there’s this invisible pull, sometimes gentle, sometimes relentless, that guides your steps? Well, there’s a reason for that, and it has a lot to do with gravity. Not the Newtonian apple-falling-on-your-head kind, but the gravity of your choices.
The Weight of Choice
You see, choices aren’t just fleeting decisions. They carry weight. Think of each one like a pebble in your pocket. Some are light like the latte you ordered this morning. Others feel like boulders: deciding to take a new job, end a relationship, or relocate to another country. Over time, these choices accumulate, pulling you toward a version of yourself you might not even recognise yet.
Back when I was in corporate leadership, I felt this pull strongly. On the surface, I had it all: a senior role in IT, a beautiful family, ticking every box that success supposedly demanded. But inside, something felt off. It wasn’t one massive, dramatic decision that shifted me; it was the small, incremental ones. Choosing to stay late at the office. Choosing to ignore the gnawing dissatisfaction. Choosing not to say no. Each decision added to the weight until one day, I realised I was being pulled toward a reality I hadn’t consciously chosen. That’s when I knew something had to change.
Choices Create Character
In coaching, we talk a lot about “character”, that gravitational pull that shapes who you become. Make good choices consistently, and they anchor you to a version of yourself that’s aligned with your values and aspirations. Let those choices slip, and you might find yourself orbiting a reality you never intended.
What’s powerful here is that the pull works both ways. A conscious choice to prioritise your well-being, to set boundaries, to cultivate courage, these decisions not only shape your present but set the trajectory for your future. It’s a bit like how high performers build clarity, energy, and influence through intentional habits. The magic isn’t in one grand gesture; it’s in the daily decisions that compound over time.
The Hidden Weight of Non-Choice
Now, here’s where it gets even more interesting. Not choosing is a choice too. You know that nagging feeling at 3 a.m. when you replay all the things you didn’t do? That’s the gravity of non-choice at work. Not deciding to prioritise your health, not standing up for yourself in a meeting, not investing in your growth, these inactions create their own pull, often toward regret, frustration, and stagnation.
I’ve seen this countless times in my coaching sessions. One client, a brilliant executive in a male-dominated field, was stuck in a cycle of burnout. She hadn’t explicitly chosen to sacrifice her well-being for work, but by not setting boundaries, by not asking for help, she was effectively pulled into that reality. Once we reframed her thinking, shifting her from defaulting to inaction to consciously choosing self-care, her entire trajectory changed.
The Psychological Tangle
This isn’t just metaphysics; it’s psychology. Our brains are wired for consistency. When we make a decision, good or bad, we tend to act congruently with it in the future. This is why it’s so easy to fall into patterns, even harmful ones. And it’s why building new, positive habits feels so hard at first.
But here’s the kicker: every small choice you make to step into courage, clarity, or even just kindness to yourself is a vote for the person you want to become. And those votes, those micro-decisions, create a gravitational pull toward a more aligned, authentic life.
I’ll be honest with you, there was a time when I felt completely weighed down by choices I hadn’t even realised I was making. Sitting in my daughter’s nursing chair, exhausted and overwhelmed, I faced a choice that felt as heavy as the earth itself. To continue spiralling down, or to choose to fight for myself and for the life I wanted. That decision, to get up, to seek help, to start a journey of self-discovery, didn’t feel monumental at the time. It just felt necessary. But looking back, it was the choice that realigned my gravity, that pulled me into the work I do today with women who feel the same invisible pull.
So, where is your gravity pulling you? What choices are you making, or avoiding, that are shaping your trajectory? Grab a journal and ask yourself:
- What good decisions have I made in the last decade?
- What choices am I avoiding, and how are they affecting me?
- What decision, if made today, could shift my trajectory toward a life of engagement, confidence, and joy?
These aren’t easy questions, but they’re essential. Because whether you’re aware of it or not, your choices, and non-choices, are shaping your universe.
You don’t need a grand plan or a ten-step formula (though I can absolutely help with that if you’re ready!). Start with one conscious decision today. Maybe it’s choosing to speak up in that meeting. Maybe it’s choosing to rest without guilt. Maybe it’s deciding, once and for all, to believe that you deserve more.
Remember, you’re a force of nature, and your choices, big and small, are your gravitational field. They’re shaping not just where you land but who you become along the way.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success!
Your Coach
Stephanie
Ready to Ignite Your SPARK?
As a Certified High Performance, Wayfinder and Imposter Syndrome Informed Coach, I’m here to support you on this transformative journey. Whether it’s in your career, health, or relationships, my coaching programs are designed to help you achieve heightened and sustained levels of performance and potential. Are you ready to embrace these inner shifts then let’s embark on this journey together!
Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
Access your FREE Online Training – and learn how you can immediately hit higher levels of performance and potential in all you do!
Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!