There’s a popular idea in corporate circles that success is about grit, strategy, and long hours. And while those have their place, what if the real edge lies somewhere less obvious? Somewhere… like your relationships?
In high performance coaching, we define success as sustaining above-average results over the long term, without sacrificing your health or your most important relationships. It’s not about burning out for a badge of honour. It’s about feeling fully alive, engaged, confident, and joyful in your work and life. And relationships are a core part of that.
Why Relationships Matter More Than You Think
Think about the last time you had a win at work. Who did you tell first? Or when a meeting went sideways, who helped you find your footing again? We don’t succeed in a vacuum. We rise through interaction, connection, and mutual support.
This isn’t just warm-and-fuzzy talk. Research shows the quality of our relationships is one of the strongest predictors of our overall well-being. And in the high performance model I coach from, “influence” and “social support” are two key pillars of long-term success.
From Isolation to Engagement
In my early years as an executive, I tried to go it alone. I thought asking for help would make me look weak. What I didn’t realise was how much that self-imposed isolation was holding me back. I wasn’t just drained, I was disengaged. It took real conversations with mentors and coaches (yes, I had my own) to understand: relationships weren’t a distraction from the work. They were the work.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. Many multicultural women in leadership roles carry invisible weights, pressure to represent, fear of being “found out,” or feeling like you always have to prove you belong. That creates distance from others and from your own spark.
Relationships as a Performance Lever
Whether you’re preparing for a promotion or rethinking your next career move, the strength of your relationships will either be your anchor or your tailwind. Here’s how to intentionally use them as a lever for performance:
- Identify Your Energisers
Who lifts you up? Who helps you think bigger? Keep these people close. Book recurring check-ins, not just when things are tough. - Audit Your Energy Drains
Not all relationships deserve equal airtime. Be honest: who consistently leaves you feeling small, unseen or second-guessing yourself? Boundaries are a form of self-respect. - Ask More, Share More
High performers don’t wait for permission to connect. They ask questions. They listen with curiousity. And they’re generous in sharing ideas, mistakes, and support. That’s not weakness, that’s influence. - Be Brave Enough to Rebuild
Sometimes we’ve let important connections fade. Maybe life got in the way. Maybe ego did. It’s never too late to reach out. A simple message can reopen doors you thought were closed.
Where Relationships Meet High Performance
In the Certified High Performance Coaching framework, we talk about six pillars: clarity, energy, courage, productivity, influence, and necessity. Relationships touch all of them. Here’s how:
- Clarity grows when we reflect with others who challenge our thinking.
- Energy is amplified by emotional connection, not drained by pretending to be someone we’re not.
- Courage often arrives in the form of a friend saying, “You’ve got this.”
- Productivity increases when we have accountability and don’t operate in silos.
- Influence is, at its core, relational.
- Necessity deepens when we understand who we’re doing it for.
A Conversation Worth Having
Ask yourself:
- Who do I need to reconnect with?
- What relationship could change the game for me?
- Who do I need to become in order to build better connections?
I’ve seen over and over again in my coaching that when women start prioritising their relationships, not as an afterthought, but as a strategy, everything else clicks into place. Confidence rises. Energy returns. Purpose becomes clearer.
So if you’re feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or like you’ve hit a plateau, maybe the answer isn’t another certification or more hustle. Maybe it’s a conversation you’ve been putting off.
Because here’s the truth: whatever you’re trying to accomplish, relationships are probably the key to getting there.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success.
Your Coach
Stephanie
Ready to Ignite Your SPARK?
As a Certified High Performance, Wayfinder and Imposter Syndrome Informed Coach, I’m here to support you on this transformative journey. Whether it’s in your career, health, or relationships, my coaching programs are designed to help you achieve heightened and sustained levels of performance and potential. Are you ready to embrace these inner shifts then let’s embark on this journey together!
Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
Access your FREE Online Training – and learn how you can immediately hit higher levels of performance and potential in all you do!
Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!