“Someday” is a seductive liar.
We whisper to ourselves, “Someday I’ll speak up in that meeting. Someday I’ll apply for the role I really want. Someday I’ll stop doubting myself.”
But someday rarely comes. And here’s the clincher, it doesn’t just waste our time; it quietly erodes our confidence. I’ve been there. When I was completing my Master’s degree, I told myself every week that the thesis was a priority. And yet, somehow, other “urgent” things kept leapfrogging it. I was mentally exhausted, stuck, and frustrated with myself.
It wasn’t until I discovered a quirky little rule from behavioral psychology that things shifted.
What’s Skinner’s Law, and Why Should You Care?
B.F. Skinner, a behavioral psychologist, observed that we’re influenced by the interplay of pain and pleasure. His work boiled down to this motivational hack:
“You’ll do something when the pain of not doing it outweighs the pain of doing it,
or when the pleasure of doing it exceeds the pleasure of not doing it.”
Simple, right? But it’s deceptively powerful.
This isn’t about tricking yourself. It’s about understanding yourself. It’s about aligning what you say you want with what you’re actually incentivised to do.
From Procrastination to Progress
Back to that thesis. I was knee-deep in research, drowning in notes and losing steam. The deadline was distant enough to lull me into a false sense of comfort. I needed a jolt.
So, I made a new rule: No weekend catch-ups with friends unless the weekly readings and writing were done. I literally stuck the rule on a Post-it on my desk.
You know what happened next.
Social FOMO is a strong motivator. Suddenly, the “pain” of not doing the work showed up right on time, every Friday. And gradually, the once-dreaded writing sessions became… manageable. Even enjoyable.
That’s the magic of Skinner’s Law. You create your own consequences and rewards, not just wait for motivation to strike.
Apply Skinner’s Law to Your Work and Life (Without Being a Psychologist)
Whether you’re leading a team, juggling career transitions, or second-guessing your next move, here’s how you can use Skinner’s Law to break through procrastination:
1. Make a Public Commitment
Declare your goal out loud, online, or to a trusted circle. Saying, “I’m working on [insert goal] this month,” makes backing out less tempting. Nobody likes to be all talk.
2. Attach a Meaningful Reward
Small wins deserve real celebrations. Whether it’s a guilt-free coffee break or an extra hour of downtime, your brain starts to associate follow-through with feel-good.
3. Link Your Action to Someone Else
Schedule a work session with a peer or accountability partner. It’s harder to let yourself off the hook when someone’s counting on you.
4. Introduce a Gentle Penalty
This isn’t about punishment. It’s about shifting emotional weight. For example, “If I don’t submit my application by Friday, I’ll donate $50 to a cause I don’t support.” Playful, yet effective.
5. Know What Motivates You (Really)
Are you more moved by the thought of missing out or by the thrill of completion? Some of us are motivated by avoiding discomfort, others by chasing the high of accomplishment. Lean into that awareness.
Why This Works Especially Well for High Achievers Who Feel Stuck
If you’re like many of the women I coach, smart, capable, but plagued by imposter feelings or perpetual dissatisfaction, then you’re not struggling from a lack of goals. You’re struggling from a lack of emotional leverage.
The gap between what you know you should be doing and what you actually do? That’s usually not a discipline problem. It’s a motivation mismatch.
We tend to wait for “perfect clarity” or “feeling ready.” But high performance, as I teach it, isn’t about waiting. It’s about creating systems that help you show up as your best self, even when your inner critic is loud.
A Quiet Reminder from My Own Journey
There was a moment, years ago, when I was holding my newborn daughter, wondering if I could keep going. I was “successful” on paper, but I felt like a hollow version of myself.
It was from that place of raw honesty that I began to rebuild. Coaching helped. Community helped. But most importantly, I stopped waiting for permission. I got radically honest about what needed to change.
I moved from “someday” to “today.” One step at a time.
You can too.
Tired of Your Own Excuses?
Here’s your challenge. Just for today, pick one thing that’s been lurking on your “someday” list.
Then ask yourself:
- What would make the pain of not doing this greater than the pain of action?
- Or… What would make the reward of doing this irresistible?
Write it down. Say it out loud. Put it on a sticky note. Lock it in.
You don’t have to “feel ready.” You just have to feel honest.
Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success.
No more waiting for someday.
Start today.
Your Coach
Stephanie
Ready to Ignite Your SPARK?
As a Certified High Performance, Wayfinder and Imposter Syndrome Informed Coach, I’m here to support you on this transformative journey. Whether it’s in your career, health, or relationships, my coaching programs are designed to help you achieve heightened and sustained levels of performance and potential. Are you ready to embrace these inner shifts then let’s embark on this journey together!
Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
Access your FREE Online Training – and learn how you can immediately hit higher levels of performance and potential in all you do!
Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!