There’s a quote that stops me in my tracks every time,
“A man is worked on by what he works on.” ~Frederick Douglass
And while the language may sound a little dated, the truth it carries is as current as tomorrow’s deadline. Whether you’re chasing KPIs, climbing a corporate ladder, or leading transformation in your field, the work you do is also doing a number on you.
The question is: Are you shaping your work, or is your work shaping you into someone you barely recognise anymore?
The Work Beneath the Work
We often think our jobs are about output: results, projects, promotions, salary bands. But the deeper transformation is internal. And it’s silent. It’s slow. It’s sneaky.
Back when I was a Regional Director of IT at Johnson & Johnson, I ticked all the boxes. Degree? Check. Leadership role? Check. Global travel, corporate perks, respected title? Check, check, check. And yet, I found myself wondering late at night, “Is this it?”
Because while I was excelling outwardly, I was slowly eroding inwardly.
The work had shaped me into someone reliable, efficient, successful, but also someone exhausted, emotionally disconnected, and unsure of who I was without the job title.
When you ignore this kind of misalignment, it’s not just burnout you risk. It’s the quiet resignation of your true self.
Who You’re Becoming Matters More Than What You’re Producing
The truth is, every spreadsheet you crank out, every presentation you finesse, every boardroom you walk into… leaves a mark. Not just on your resume, but on you.
This is where high performance living comes in, not the hustle culture version that sells you on doing more at all costs, but the kind Brendon Burchard defines:
“Succeeding beyond standard norms consistently over the long term, while maintaining positive well-being and relationships.”
It’s not about being the busiest woman in the office. It’s about becoming the most aligned version of yourself, someone who’s deeply engaged, genuinely joyful, and steadily confident in the life she’s designing.
Because high performance isn’t just a set of habits. It’s a way of becoming.
The Risk of Choosing by Default
Here’s the kicker: If you don’t consciously choose your work, and how you show up in it, your circumstances will choose for you.
So often I meet women who say,
“I don’t even remember choosing this path. It just sort of… happened.”
“It made sense at the time.”
“I stayed because I didn’t want to lose the momentum.”
But momentum in the wrong direction just gets you lost faster.
When you’re in a career that’s out of sync with your values, your energy gets hijacked. And over time, what once felt like ambition turns into something more like obligation.
And if you’re carrying imposter feelings, which so many of us are, it can get even trickier. You’re not just doing the work; you’re constantly proving you belong doing it. That’s not just exhausting. It’s unsustainable.
The Work That Shapes You Well
Now let’s flip the narrative.
What if the work you chose actually fed your self-worth?
What if your to-do list reflected your values instead of just your responsibilities?
What if your ambition felt like a compass, not a treadmill?
This is the heart of what I coach: choosing the kind of work, and ways of working, that shape you into someone you’re proud to become.
For me, that meant moving from corporate executive to certified high performance coach, Wayfinder coach, and imposter syndrome-informed coach. It meant trading the external validation of corporate success for the deep fulfillment of helping women become authors of their own lives.
Do I still work hard? Absolutely. But the difference now is that my work works on me in ways that light me up instead of wear me down.
Practical Shifts That Change the Trajectory
Let’s make this concrete. Here are some questions I often ask clients in our coaching sessions to bring this principle to life:
- What’s the story you’re telling yourself about why you do this work?
- How is your current work shaping your beliefs about what’s possible?
- When you think about your future, does it energise you or drain you?
- Are you becoming more of yourself… or someone else entirely?
You don’t need to quit your job to get aligned. But you do need to quit abandoning yourself in the process.
And you can start with micro-shifts:
- Reclaim 15 minutes a day for something that brings you joy.
- Redefine what success means for you, not just your industry.
- Say “yes” only when it’s a “whole body yes.”
- Reflect weekly on how your work is shaping your thoughts, habits, and relationships.
Because who you become tomorrow is being built by what you say “yes” to today.
Destiny Isn’t Found, It’s Forged
Here’s what I know for sure after years of walking this path, both as a woman in a high-pressure industry and as a coach:
The work isn’t about the outcome. It’s about who you become while doing it.
And who you become? That is your legacy.
So choose your work with care, not fear.
Pursue your goals with clarity, not hustle.
And above all, shape the work so it shapes you into the woman you were always meant to become.
Because in the end, and this may be the most important part, the work you do will create your destiny.
And you are worth a destiny that feels like home.
Remember, you can unleash your version of success. And yes, it can feel like you.
Your Coach
Stephanie
Ready to Ignite Your SPARK?
As a Certified High Performance, Wayfinder and Imposter Syndrome Informed Coach, I’m here to support you on this transformative journey. Whether it’s in your career, health, or relationships, my coaching programs are designed to help you achieve heightened and sustained levels of performance and potential. Are you ready to embrace these inner shifts then let’s embark on this journey together!
Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can support you:
Join our IYS Community – to connect with like-minded individuals focused on increasing their ENGAGEMENT, CONFIDENCE & JOY in work (and life)
Access your FREE Online Training – and learn how you can immediately hit higher levels of performance and potential in all you do!
Take the High Performance Questionnaire – to understand if you’re ready to go to the next level and live a life full of engagement, joy and confidence…
Book a Chat – so we can breakthrough what you’re currently challenged with and take the next action towards living the life of your dreams!